You would have notice in my blog by now, that I keep focusing on ourselves – the self. The reason why I do this is because of this – we can only control ourselves and we can only change ourselves. We cannot control or change other people. And that’s why it’s always about self-introspection and learning what you can do better.
Two other things I do are these:
- I would also try to illustrate how others would think. The thing is this – can we change others? Can we change how they think? We cannot. So we can only focus on understanding how they think so that it makes it easier for us to learn and move on.
- I have also tried to emphasise, when placed in the same situation as another, how we would think. If we can understand how we would think then, we would understand how someone would think similarly - so if we can understand why people would do certain things because we would do the same if we were in their shoes, we would understand how to make life easier for ourselves, by taking a perspective from the shoes of others.
Primarily, this is what we need to learn:
- We need to introspect and look within because we can control and change ourselves. We have to leave others to be – it’s their life to learn. It’s not our role to help them learn. It is also not our role to help them learn so that it can make our lives easier. If the aim of changing them is so that our lives will become better, then we need to look at ourselves and why would won’t change ourselves instead.
- We need to empathise with the perspectives of others. Only when we understand that if we, as they would, would do the same thing in a similar circumstance – for example, if we would leave someone if we decide that we might truly be incompatible – then we would need to have the awareness and maturity to understand that others will, and should be allowed to do the same to us.
Ultimately, we need to learn not to take things personally – to be detached from what is happening, and we need to learn not to see things as only from our own perspective, but to see broadly so as to have a overall and complete understanding as to how we can then learn to move on in life happily.