Jack: My life is not perfect.
Me: What is perfection?
Jack: Have a family
Me: Oh? And why is having a family a perfection?
Jack: Typical family. Circle of Life
Me: Well … Is that what you think is perfection or is that what you think society wants you to think?
Jack: I think its perfection and partly society
Me: My idea of perfection then is living my life according to my purpose, to be happy and be free.
Jack: no intention to have a family of ur own?
Me: Being with my partner and marrying him is starting a family of my own.
Jack: Gays will never be accepted in this region
Me: I don’t actually think its an issue though. I’m open to everyone and I pretty much am ok. Lol. And countries like Vietnam and Taiwan are considering legalising gay marriage anyway.
Jack: I’m concerned about my family
Me: What about your family?
Jack: What will they think
Me: It’s not what they will think though. It’s what you will think. For yourself. That’s what we are really concerned about when we say we are worried what others think – we are worried what it will mean for ourselves.
Jack: Agree. . Will it affect me?
Me: People will always think what they want to think. Humans think from their selves as the centre point. So they view things from their own perspective. So they will say what they will say because that’s how they see their worldview.
And similarly because you come from a self as the centred perspective, you would choose to see things which are favourable as good and things which are seen as unfavourable as not good – because as humans we want to belong so we want people to think favourably about us.
But – what about us? If life is all about making sure others are happy about us, then we might as well not lead out lives. We might as well be a robot and give them a controller to live our lives for us. We might as well not have a life.
Eventually it comes down to this – how much of ourselves do we want to live for ourselves? How true do we want to be of ourselves? How much do we want to believe in ourselves so that we know to lead a life that we believe in, and not one that is all about what others want us to live?
How much will we believe in ourselves such that even if people say things about us, we believe in ourselves enough to want to live our lives the way we know it should be lived, and the way we know we will be proud of and happy with?
Jack: I dont know hw I should live my life. Be out and happy abt it? Keep.status quo until i die? Or just move out of sg and live new life?
Me: It’s simple – knowing who you are, accepting who you are and being who you are. If you choose to live by status quo, you will live by status quo everywhere you go in this world – because you do not choose to live a life that’s yours, because you live a life based on how others see you. Then it’s you that you have to get pass. It’s not society.
Jack: Ahh. I need to vent it out tmr
Me: Vent it out tomorrow? How so?
Jack: Gym.. Theres a punching bag
Me: Then you are just running away from this.
Me: What this requires is a willingness to look within and understand yourself, to face up to yourself and to believe in yourself. That’s all it takes – to believe in yourself.
Jack: I need more time
Me: But of course, all of us need time. But at least it starts with awareness and a willingness to understand. And you have that.
Jack: Awareness of?
Me: Awareness of your thoughts, of what you are thinking, of why you are thinking what you are thinking and an awareness of what being true to yourself means, how you can be true to yourself. Awareness – being true and genuine in your thoughts, reflecting and understand with clarity and openness. And seeing clearly. But when you are done, you will come out the better of it.
Jack: Its toooo much to think
Me: Didn’t you say you want to understand more about life?
Jack: Haha.. Life is just a 4 letter word
Me: Which is?
Jack: The same with Love
Me: Then love yourself. Truly love yourself. And believe in yourself.
Jack: (I mean) Living In Fantasy Eternity
Me: What others call fantasy is what they don’t believe in. I used to have people tell me that I’m not realistic and that I am too idealistic. But I continued to believe. I continued to live my life as naive, so-called, that which people say. But I’ve turned out happier. I’ve learnt to be more passionate, to believe in myself.
They said it was fantasy. They said I was being idealistic. But now I’m the one who believes, who believes in myself and who’s passionate in what I do.
Fantasy? Idealism? It’s a name for what we do not dare to pursue and believe and a name we give to others who dare to do what we do not dare to.
Jack: Good night my friend. Lets continue tmr. Lets talk abt more relaxing topic ya
Me: I’ve been thinking about these things for the past few years of my life. That’s how I learnt to be happy and to find myself.